                    [Times Square Church Pulpit Series]

                             I Almost Slipped!

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By David Wilkerson
March 17, 1997
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          The Holy Spirit has prompted me to bring a solemn
          warning to the body of Jesus Christ! The warning is
          this: There is a sin raging in the church right now
          that is causing the fall of multitudes of Christians.
          This particular sin is leading many believers to the
          very brink of the abyss!

          Here at Times Square Church a number of dear,
          Christ-loving people have already begun slipping left
          and right. Others are on the brink of a serious slide.
          I pray this message will open your eyes to your
          condition -- and that the word God has given me here
          will set you free.

          The awful sin I'm writing about is dangerous because
          most Christians have not taken it seriously. It is not
          considered to be a major sin; its evil has been either
          underestimated or ignored. And yet it is affecting
          multitudes of believers -- causing the shipwreck of
          numerous pastors, evangelists and laypeople around the
          world.

          This sin is not what we would call a sin of the flesh,
          such as adultery, fornication, lust, homosexuality,
          gambling, stealing, or drug or alcohol abuse. Nor am I
          talking about a sin of the mind, such as anger,
          covetousness, ambition, rebellion, unforgiveness,
          slander, gossip or even pride. In fact, the sin I'm
          referring to is far more serious and seductive than
          pride itself. Yet when this sin is indulged, it is
          capable of leading to every other sin listed here.

          I am not trying to be dramatic. This is a soul-damning
          sin that must be exposed and and dealt with -- in every
          one of us!

                      -------------------------------

                         Let Me Reveal to You This
                          Serious, Seductive Sin!

                      -------------------------------

          Not long ago, I was sitting at my desk in our ministry
          offices when I heard loud sobs coming from the
          reception area. I walked out of my office and saw my
          secretary consoling a twenty- four-year-old Nigerian
          girl. I recognized the young woman: She has attended
          Times Square Church for about four years now. She has
          been wonderfully faithful -- a beautiful witness for
          Jesus who comes from a Christian family. But now her
          face was lined with grief.

          "What happened?" I asked. My secretary answered, "She
          just received word from Nigeria that her father and
          mother have been killed in an auto accident."

          The girl was absolutely crushed. She told us she had
          six brothers and sisters, all under seventeen years of
          age, who now were left with no support. She could get
          only temporary work, and she regularly sent money back
          to Nigeria to help support her family, even though she
          was barely able to make ends meet for herself.

          The distraught girl cried, "I don't understand! I have
          served the Lord faithfully for years. I tithe
          consistently. I walk upright before the Lord. And now
          this! Why would God allow such a tragedy? I don't have
          any money to fly back to Nigeria to bury my parents, or
          to take care of my six siblings. This makes no sense to
          me!"

          Then she looked up at me through tear-stained eyes,
          almost like a child, and asked, "Pastor, why is it so
          hard to do right? The closer I get to Jesus, the more I
          suffer. My life has been so hard, so painful already.
          I've had all I can take. And now my troubles only
          increase. Why has God put me in this condition?"

          Her grief was absolutely overwhelming. She even told us
          she had just thought of suicide. "There is no more
          reason to live," she wept. "Why go on?"

          We happily provided the girl with a round-trip ticket
          and money to bury her parents. We later learned that
          when she arrived in Nigeria, she rejoiced to hear that
          her father's last words were, "The battle is over.
          Light has overcome darkness."

          Yet as I went back to my office that day after trying
          to console the girl, I was shaken. I prayed, "Lord, she
          is hurting so badly. She believes you've let her down,
          that you've forsaken her. She thinks that serving you
          is too hard. How can I bring her any comfort at all? I
          feel so bad for her -- and yet nothing I say seems to
          console her in any way."

          As I sat down to pray, I realized: "Lord, it seems the
          whole body of Christ has yet to understand why you
          allow the godly to suffer. We don't understand the
          poverty, the hardships. None of it computes. We're all
          trying to live to please you -- yet we have trouble
          upon trouble, plague upon plague, chastening after
          chastening, sudden calamities.

          "Father, how can I reach out to our own church body of
          hurting, grieving, suffering people? We're all asking
          the same question: 'Why is there so much pain in my
          life, when we only do what is right?'"

          All day long I contemplated this matter. That evening,
          as I went home to pray, I was in agony. Finally, I
          cried out to the Lord, "Father, your church is in a
          quandary over this issue of suffering! There are many
          Christians who, like Paul, can say, 'I have suffered
          the loss of all things that I may win Christ.' Yet,
          like Paul, the closer they get to Jesus, the more
          troubles and problems they face!

          "I've got to be able to give your people something,
          Lord. I want to be able to stand before them with your
          wisdom and knowledge to talk about this serious,
          perplexing matter. What words of comfort and wisdom can
          I offer them?"

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                             I Was Shocked and
                              Surprised by the
                           Lord's Answer to Me!

                      -------------------------------

          The Holy Spirit's words to me literally shook my soul.
          And afterward, I saw something about grief and sorrow
          through God's eyes that I'd never seen before.

          I began to see how easy it is for suffering, tested
          Christians to slide into a grievous sin -- the very sin
          I am exposing in this message. You see, unless we look
          at our trials through God's eyes -- unless we see the
          potential danger facing us in our time of sorrow and
          grief -- we can slide into an abyss of darkness and
          never come out!

          You may think it cruel of me to suggest that a grieving
          twenty-four-year-old girl who has just lost both her
          parents could slide into a terrible sin. But the Lord
          spoke to my heart very clearly about her grief:

          "David, she's in danger -- and you've got to warn her!
          Whenever my people endure a condition like hers -- when
          sudden calamity falls, and they face fear, trouble,
          poverty -- the heart always questions, 'Why is life so
          hard when I only do what is right?' That is exactly the
          time when they are at the brink of a terrible abyss.
          They are on the verge of indulging a sin that is
          ruinous!"

          These words shocked me. I thought, "But, Lord -- we are
          to weep with those who weep. As a pastor, I am to offer
          every word of comfort the Holy Ghost prompts me to give
          from your scriptures. I am to be there as a nurse the
          best that I know how -- to stand by suffering people
          and let them pour out their grief."

          This is all true, without question. Yet the Holy Spirit
          was showing me that a time comes in the midst of our
          crises when we cannot allow doubt to take root!

          Yes, I believe God understands our sudden outbursts
          whenever calamities strike. As we face tragedy, death
          or any other kind of trouble, many of us cry out, "God,
          why did you allow this?" Even Christ, at Calvary,
          cried, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

          But Jesus, in his overwhelming pain and suffering, did
          not allow his grief to take root and turn to doubt.
          Instead, he allowed the Holy Spirit to console him. And
          in his most trying hour, he turned his life and future
          over to the father's hands: "...Father, into thy hands
          I commend my spirit..." (Luke 23:46).

          I realize now there is no way out of our grief, sorrow
          or any other problem unless we come to the point where
          we can say, "I will not allow this questioning to go
          on. Yes, I grieve, I hurt -- but God is on the throne.
          Enough of doubting!"

          That is when I began to see human grief and suffering
          through God's eyes. The Spirit whispered to me, "David,
          you think it is enough to share your pity and grief
          with suffering saints. But it is not enough! I want you
          to look at their grieving hearts through my eyes."

          Bear with me now as I endeavor to open up to you what
          the Lord has shown me about this grievous sin that
          brings destruction upon so many Christians. I pray this
          message will be a weapon in your hands -- and that it
          will keep you from the sin that can damn your soul!
          This sin will become obvious as we go on.

                      -------------------------------

                             In Psalm 73, a Man
                             Named Asaph Nearly
                            Fell Into This Sin!

                      -------------------------------

          Asaph was a chief singer, a Levite and a leader of King
          David's choral worshipers. He and his clan also played
          cymbals in times of praise. He is credited with writing
          eleven of the Psalms.

          This man was a coworker with David and a very close
          friend. Indeed, no one could be a Levite serving in
          God's house without being close to David -- because
          that is where David was most of the time. David loved
          God, and he loved being in God's house.

          Yet, in spite of his tremendous calling and blessings,
          Asaph confessed, "But as for me, my feet were almost
          gone; my steps had well nigh slipped" (Psalm 73:2).

          Now, we know Asaph was a pure-hearted man. He had the
          right concept of the heavenly father, believing God was
          good. He even began his discourse in this psalm by
          saying, "Truly God is good to Israel, even to such as
          are of a clean heart" (verse 1). In other words: "God
          has been good to me by giving me a clean heart!"

          Yet in the very next verse this clean-hearted man
          confesses, "I almost slipped. I almost fell!" Why does
          Asaph declare this?

          Could it be that Asaph was disillusioned by the
          compromise he saw in David? As a loving friend, this
          musician probably observed all that the king said and
          did. He must have grieved over David's failures -- his
          battles with lust, his adultery with Bathsheba, his
          conniving and murder of Uriah, his taking on more wives
          when God had forbidden him to do so. Yes, David had a
          lot of problems in his life. So, did Asaph detect a
          hypocrisy in this man who had a reputation for being so
          godly? Did the musician cry out, "My leader has failed
          me!"

          Was this the sin of Asaph? Did he almost fall because
          David took a fall? When David slipped, did Asaph cry,
          "That's all I can take. I just can't handle this!"

          No -- there was none of that in Asaph's heart. What,
          then, was the sin that caused Asaph to slip and nearly
          fall? What is this grievous sin I am talking about?

                      -------------------------------

                         Asaph's Sin Was the Sin of
                       Believing His Sufferings Were
                       Unfair Punishments From God!

                      -------------------------------

          This is the sin of charging God with neglect and
          injustice!

          We know from this psalm that Asaph was in the hot fires
          of affliction, facing great troubles. He testified,
          "For all the day long have I been plagued, and
          chastened every morning" (verse 14).

          The Hebrew meaning of the words "plagued" and
          "chastened" here is simply this: "I have been stricken
          violently with trouble! Every morning I wake up touched
          by sorrow, pain and grief. Every day I am being beaten
          down. I feel I'm being punished. It's too painful even
          to talk about!" (see verses 14- 16).

          Asaph also implies poverty in what he says: "For I was
          envious...when I saw the prosperity of the wicked"
          (verse 3). As Asaph looked around him, all he saw was
          wicked people with great wealth -- people who
          apparently lived without pain, enjoying the high life,
          fat with material blessings, having all they could ever
          want or need. Perhaps Asaph was made to feel the pain
          of his own poverty more acutely. The pure-hearted
          musician couldn't understand it -- and he cried out,
          "Lord, it doesn't make sense to me!"

          Asaph's suffering brought him to the brink of a deadly
          sin: attributing to God unfaithfulness or unconcern!
          This man said to himself, "Look at all the foolish,
          wicked sinners. They don't pray. They reject God's
          word. They neglect the Lord's commands. And yet they
          aren't plagued as other men are!" "They are not in
          trouble as other men..." (Psalm 73:5).

          What Asaph actually meant here was, "The wicked are not
          plagued as I am. They only do evil -- and yet they
          prosper! While I deny myself, they grow rich and
          prosperous. While I am weak with sorrow, their strength
          only increases" (see verse 4).

          Then Asaph asks, "...is there knowledge in the most
          High?" (verse 11). In other words: "Doesn't God balance
          his books? Doesn't he see what's going on here? Isn't
          the Lord aware of the disparity between his suffering,
          righteous children and the prosperous wicked? We are
          constantly being deprived, while the foolish get
          everything their hearts desire. And God allows it all
          to continue!"

          Have you ever wondered why blessings are heaped on
          people who live like devils? Perhaps you've felt this
          way because some ungodly coworker has been rewarded
          instead of you. Or maybe you've wondered how your
          unconverted neighbor could ever afford his expensive
          car and new furniture. Meanwhile, you work hard at your
          job, as unto the Lord -- and you're having to figure
          out ways to stretch your income!

          A number of years ago, I was driving down the West Side
          Highway in Manhattan with a man who had been saved in
          our church. As we drove past Donald Trump's huge yacht
          docked along the river, this man began to fume. He
          said, "I get so mad whenever I see that boat. That man
          has evreything -- and I have nothing!"

          I thought to myself, "All Trump has is a piece of junk
          floating in the water -- and you have eternal life with
          the Lord. Do you think that's nothing?"

          According to our human thinking, life should be as
          follows: If we give everything to God, we should have a
          clear path to glory; nothing should get in our way --
          no suffering and no trials. Indeed, numerous pastors
          throughout the country are trying to sell this very
          doctrine to downcast sheep.

          Yet, the truth is, if you try to figure out your trials
          with human reasoning, they won't make any sense. No
          matter how hard you try, none of it will ever compute!

          I ask you: Have you ever gone through a time when every
          day you rose with a cloud hanging over your head?
          Perhaps it was a time of testing. Or maybe it was a
          time of apostasy, backsliding, coldness in your life.
          Or, maybe it even happened during your best times with
          God. Your heart was open to his voice; you were ready
          to be a living sacrifice for him; you prayed, "Father,
          I'm walking with you the best that I know how. If there
          is anything in my heart that isn't right before you,
          remove it!"

          But your prayers were not answered. You heard nothing
          whatsoever. And, like Asaph, you finally wondered: "Why
          is it so hard to do right?"

                      -------------------------------

                            This Is the Point of
                            Danger -- the Place
                          Where Slipping Begins!

                      -------------------------------

          "Verily I have cleansed my heart in vain, and washed my
          hands in innocency" (Psalm 73:13).

          Asaph was so confused by his sufferings in comparison
          to the easy life of the wicked, he nearly slipped into
          a pit of absolute unbelief. He was ready to accuse God
          of forsaking him -- of abandoning him, of not being
          concerned. And for a moment he was ready to quit the
          battle -- to give up completely.

          This godly man must have thought, "I've been doing
          right and enduring hardships all this time -- but for
          nothing! All my strictness, my diligence, my praising
          and worshiping, my study of God's word -- it's been
          useless, in vain. I have given everything to worshiping
          the Lord -- I have done only right -- and yet I
          continue to suffer! These plagues, chastenings and
          sorrows make no sense. What's the use of going on?"

          Beloved, that is when you have to be careful! When
          calamity falls, when a trial comes upon you, when you
          are grieving -- you need to guard your heart against
          slipping!

          You may not be in Asaph's condition -- at a point of
          great personal testing and troubles. But you may know
          someone who is going through what he endured. Sudden
          calamity may have come upon a godly relative, friend or
          church member -- someone you know who is doing right.
          And you've asked, "Why, God? How could you allow this?
          That person is so holy, so righteous!"

          I once knew a young couple in their mid-thirties with
          two children. The husband was righteous man, a loving
          husband and father. He had never been sick a day in his
          life -- and yet suddenly he became ill and died within
          a short time. His wife was left with their two
          children, not knowing what to do.

          Everyone around them asked, "Why, God? This doesn't
          make sense. How could you allow it? Why does her life
          have to be so hard now, with these children -- after
          all the years she and her husband served you so
          faithfully? Why didn't this happen to somebody else?"

          This thinking sounds innocent -- but it represents the
          very brink of the pit of unbelief! Asaph came very
          close to slipping into this pit. And it is the pit into
          which Israel fell. They spent forty years in the
          wilderness saying, "This doesn't make sense. Life is
          too hard!" And they died questioning God -- in total
          apostasy!

          Let me ask you: How do you react when all your plans
          and dreams blow up in your face? You were so sure you
          heard from God. You thought he gave you direction,
          encouraging you to move forward. Everything you read in
          his word seemed to confirm your plans. You prayed about
          every step along the way, always giving glory to God.
          And the Lord seemed to be leading on.

          You were happy, thinking, "At last -- I'm going to see
          my prayers answered! God's plan is finally beginning to
          come together in my life."

          Then one day, all of a sudden, your dream blew up in
          your face. Your plan was destroyed, your dream
          shattered -- and it all lay in ashes at your feet. You
          didn't know how to make any sense of it. That's when
          Satan came along, bringing his lies:

          "See what you get for being so strict about your walk
          with God? This is how he treats you when you trust him
          for direction. He lets you become confused about his
          voice -- and he gives you phony guidance! He lets you
          hear voices and see words from the scriptures. And
          then, when you're finally ready to move in, he abandons
          you. He leads you on, and then he drops you!"

          I talked to a young preacher recently who is at this
          very point. He told me, "I don't understand. I know
          there is no pride in my heart, nothing that's unlike
          Jesus. I prayed and fasted, and God gave me this plan.
          Everything was going fine -- and then suddenly it blew
          up overnight. It's all gone!"

          I didn't pity this young man. I didn't sympathize with
          him. Instead, the Holy Ghost gave me a clear word for
          him: "Don't let your faith be shaken! Don't lose your
          confidence in God. Let all your dreams go. God is still
          on his throne!"

          The devil had come to this young man and said, "You
          can't hear God's voice anymore. You've already heard so
          much that's wrong. How could you trust any voice now?"
          That is Satan's trick -- to try to deafen us to Jesus's
          promise: "My sheep know my voice -- and they hear when
          I call!"

                      -------------------------------

                           When Asaph Considered
                            All These Things, He
                          Finally Concluded: "This
                         Is All Too Painful for Me.
                        I'm Going to God's House!"

                      -------------------------------

          "When I thought to know this, it was too painful for
          me; until I went into the sanctuary of God; then
          understood I their end" (Psalm 73:16-17). Asaph said,
          "I'm not giving up. I'm going to the sanctuary. God has
          my answer!"

          So he went to the temple. And as he meditated on the
          Lord, he kept telling himself, "I'm not going to let
          the devil make me fall. I'm not going to slip into the
          abyss of unbelief. I'm going to pray -- to talk it out
          with the Lord!"

          Beloved, when your time of grief, sorrow, or suffering
          comes, you also must go to the secret closet. Don't get
          on the telephone with someone. Get alone with God! Cry
          your heart out to him. Go to the sanctuary to find your
          answer! No book, preacher or sermon tape will ever make
          you understand your trials. But if you'll get alone
          with the father, he will give you understanding!

          That is when the Holy Spirit spoke to Asaph. And the
          answer came loud and clear: "Surely thou didst set them
          in slippery places: thou castedst them down into
          destruction" (verse 18). Asaph realized, "I'm not the
          one who's slipping. The wicked are slipping. The're
          going straight into destruction!"

          The Lord was telling this man, "Your problem, Asaph, is
          that you've been looking at their outward appareances
          -- the false dream, the bubble they're living in.
          You've never seen the terror in their hearts!" "...they
          are utterly consumed with terrors" (verse 19).

          God was showing Asaph, "It's all a smoke screen! If you
          could see behind their wealth and facades, you'd
          realize they're living in panic and terror. All these
          wicked people who look so happy -- who spend their time
          drinking and partying -- go home each night with panic
          and dread in their hearts. Deep down they know one day
          they're going to stand before me at the judgment -- and
          I'm going to judge them. They're living in a dream
          world, Asaph -- and suddenly their dream will end!"

          God was saying to Asaph, "You may feel despised right
          now, Asaph. But when you stand before me, you are going
          to be embraced and loved!"

          Suddenly, Asaph began to feel pity and grief for those
          wicked people who seemed so blessed: "Thus my heart was
          grieved, and I was pricked [convicted] in my reins
          [heart]. So foolish was I..." (verses 21-22).

          In other words: "How could I ever have been envious of
          them? Their dream world is really a life of hidden
          terror and fear, of eternal loss. They'll live just a
          few years in their dream world -- but I have the
          eternal consolation of the Holy Ghost! I have a
          heavenly father who cares about me, no matter what I go
          through. And when I stand before his throne, I'll hear
          him say, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter
          into the joys of thy father!'"

          Asaph finally began to see the whole picture -- and he
          rejoiced: "...God is the strength of my heart, and my
          portion for ever" (verse 26). He could say, "Yes, my
          strength is failing. Yes, I'm being plagued and
          chastened. Yes, I'm enduring a great battle with my
          afflictions. But I'm not alone in my struggles. I have
          a loving father in heaven who watches over me!

          "Lord, nothing else in this world matters but you --
          knowing you, loving you and trusting you. I'm sorry I
          was ever angry at you -- that I ever accused you of
          being unfaithful. Whom do I have but you, anyway?
          Although my flesh and my heart may fail, you are the
          strength of my heart!"

          That is when Asaph came into true rest. He saw that he
          had almost slipped -- but he'd held on! The musician
          closes his psalm on this note of victory: "...I have
          put my trust in the Lord God, that I may declare all
          thy works" (verse 28).

          So, dear saint -- have you been holding on? Or have you
          been believing Satan's lie that God can't keep you?
          Have you been testifying of God's strength in your
          life? Or have you been thinking the devil has more
          power than the God who abides in you?

          There has to be something in all of us that cries out,
          "Oh, God, I want to be delivered! If I'm starting to
          doubt you, then I have started to slip." That is the
          point where we have to trust God to be our strength --
          no matter how weak we feel or how painful our trial.

          So, get your eyes off people. And put your eyes on your
          strength -- the Lord himself! He has a reason for
          everything he allows in your life. He may not always
          tell you that reason -- but he will be the strength of
          your heart through it all. May the same hope that Asaph
          experienced well up in your heart and cry, "Lord, you
          are the strength of my heart. Live or die, I'm going to
          trust you!"

          God help us all who love him never to slip and fall
          into unbelief.

          ---
          Used with permission granted by World Challenge, P. O.
          Box 260, Lindale, TX 75771, USA.

          This material is solely for personal use and is not to
          be posted publicly on other web pages. The Lorain
          County Free-Net Chapel holds exclusive rights from
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          on its web page. You are free to download, copy, print
          and distribute this material, so long as you do not
          post it on a different Internet site. You may, however,
          link this site to reference these messages.

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