                    [Times Square Church Pulpit Series]

                            Are You Mad at God?

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By David Wilkerson
February 16, 1998
__________

          I believe there is nothing more dangerous to a
          Christian than to carry around a resentment against
          God. Yet I am shocked by the growing number of
          believers I meet who are peeved at the Lord. They may
          not admit as much - but deep inside, they hold some
          kind of grudge against him. Why? They believe he's not
          interested in their lives or problems! They're
          convinced he doesn't care - because he hasn't answered
          a particular prayer or acted on their behalf.

          I received a letter recently from a young man who's
          incarcerated in a southern prison. This convict was
          once a committed Christian - but now he says he's mad
          at God. He wrote:

          "I'm in a hellhole - and I believe God is going to
          leave me here! At one time I wanted to follow Christ
          with all my heart. But I had a sin that overwhelmed me
          - a sexual sin. I tried to repent, but it never helped.
          I read my Bible, studied and prayed - but it was no
          use. My sin always took control. And now I'm in prison
          for a long time because of it.

          "I've given up on doing spiritual warfare. Trying
          doesn't seem worth it. God delivered me from drugs and
          alcohol when I was a new Christian. But why didn't he
          take away my sexual lusts?"

          Every page of this man's letter was full of bitterness
          toward God. He has allowed his resentment to turn into
          an all-out rage!

          I see a similar rage among a growing number of
          ministers in many denominations. They've become
          disillusioned, burned out, angry with God - and now
          they're walking away from their calling. When you ask
          them why, they answer:

          "I was diligent, faithful - I gave it my best. But the
          harder I tried, the less results I saw. My congregation
          was not appreciative. And all my prayers seemed in
          vain. At one point, everything I preached felt phony,
          because it wasn't working in my own life. Now I've quit
          the ministry until I can figure things out."

          I have learned over the years that very few such
          ministers ever return. Why? They hold onto their peeve
          against God! They say, "I did everything right. But
          nothing turned out the way I'd hoped. I was faithful to
          him - but he failed me!"

                      -------------------------------

                  The Awful Danger and Bitter Consequences
                      of Holding a Grudge Against God
                     Were Brought Home to Me Recently!

                      -------------------------------

          Not long ago, I picked up a missionary biography
          entitled Aggie - and I couldn't put it down. This
          amazing story gripped my heart, and I ended up reading
          it in one sitting. I'd like to summarize the story for
          you here - because it vividly illustrates the
          destructive power of grudging anger in a Christian's
          heart:

          In 1921, two young couples in Stockholm, Sweden,
          answered God's call to the African mission field. They
          were members of Philadelphia Pentecostal Church, which
          sent out missionaries to locales over the world. During
          one particular missions service, these two couples
          received a burden to go to the Belgian Congo, which is
          now Zaire.

          Their names were David and Svea Flood and Joel and
          Bertha Erickson. Svea Flood was only
          four-feet-eight-inches tall, and she was a well-known
          singer in Sweden. But both couples gave up everything
          to lay down their lives for the gospel.

          When they arrived in the Belgian Congo, they reported
          to the local mission station. Then they took machetes
          and literally hacked their way into the Congo's
          insect-infested interior. David and Svea had a
          two-year-old son, David Jr., and they had to carry him
          on their backs. Along the way, both families caught
          malaria. But they kept going forward with great zeal,
          ready to be martyrs for the Lord.

          Finally, they reached a certain village in the
          interior. Yet, to their surprise, the people wouldn't
          let them enter. They told the missionaries, "We can't
          allow any white people here, or our gods will be
          offended." So the families went to a second village -
          but they were rejected there also.

          At this point, there were no other villages around. The
          worn-down families had no choice but to settle. So they
          hacked out a clearing in the middle of a mountain
          jungle and built mud huts, where they made their homes.

          As the months went by, they all suffered from
          loneliness, sickness and malnutrition. Little David Jr.
          became sickly. And they had almost no interaction with
          any of the villagers.

          Finally, after about six months, Joel and Bertha
          Erickson decided to return to the mission station. They
          urged the Floods to do the same, but Svea couldn't
          travel because she'd just gotten pregnant. And now her
          malaria had become worse. Besides all that, David said,
          "I want my child born in Africa. I've come to give my
          life here." So the Floods simply waved goodbye as their
          friends began the one-hundred-mile hike back.

          For several months Svea endured a raging fever. Yet all
          that time, she ministered faithfully to a little boy
          who came to see them from one of the nearby villages.
          The boy was the Floods' only convert. He brought the
          family fruit, and as Svea ministered to him, he simply
          smiled back at her.

          Eventually, Svea's malaria got so bad she became
          bedridden. When the time came for her to give birth,
          she delivered a healthy baby girl. But within a week
          she was at the point of death. In her final moments,
          she whispered to David, "Call our girl Aina." Then she
          died.

          David Flood was badly shaken by his wife's death.
          Summoning all his strength, he took a wooden box and
          made a casket for Svea. Then, in a primitive grave on
          the mountainside, he buried his beloved wife.

          As he stood beside her grave, he looked down at his
          young son beside him. Then he heard his baby daughter's
          cries from the mud hut. And suddenly, bitterness filled
          his heart. An anger rose up in him - and he couldn't
          control it. He flew into a rage, crying, "Why did you
          allow this, God? We came here to give our lives! My
          wife was so beautiful, so talented. And here she lies,
          dead at twenty-seven.

          "Now I have a two-year-old son I can hardly care for,
          let alone a baby girl. And after more than a year in
          this jungle, all we have to show for it is one little
          village boy who probably doesn't understand what we've
          told him. You've failed me, God. What a waste of life!"

          At that point, David Flood hired some local tribesmen
          as guides and took his children to the mission station.
          When he saw the Ericksons, he blurted out angrily, "I'm
          leaving! I can't handle these children alone. I'm
          taking my son with me back to Sweden - but I'm leaving
          my daughter here with you." And with that, he left Aina
          for the Ericksons to raise.

          All the way back to Stockholm, David Flood stood on
          deck and seethed at God. He'd told everyone he was
          going to Africa to be a mrtyr - to win people to
          Christ, no matter what the cost. And now he was
          returning a defeated and broken man. He believed he'd
          been faithful - but that God had rewarded him with
          total neglect.

          When he arrived in Stockholm, he decided to go into the
          import business to seek his fortune. And he warned
          everyone around him never to mention God in his
          presence. When they did, he flew into a rage, the veins
          popping out on his neck. Eventually, he began drinking
          heavily.

          Shortly after he left Africa, his friends the Ericksons
          died suddenly (possibly poisoned by a local village
          chief). So, little Aina was handed to an American
          couple - some dear people I know named Arthur and Anna
          Berg. The Bergs took Aina with them to a village called
          Massisi, in the northern Congo. There they began
          calling her "Aggie." And soon little Aggie learned the
          Swahili language and played with the Congo children.

          Alone much of the time, Aggie learned to play games of
          imagination. She imagined she had four brothers and a
          sister, and she gave them all imaginary names. She
          would set a table for her brothers and talk to them.
          And she would imagine her sister continually looking
          for her.

          When the Bergs went on furlough to America, they took
          Aggie with them, to the Minneapolis area. As it turned
          out, they ended up staying there. Aggie grew up to
          marry a man named Dewey Hurst, who later became
          president of Northwest Bible College, the Assemblies of
          God school in Minneapolis.

                      -------------------------------

                        For Years as an Adult, Aggie
                       Tried to Contact Her Father -
                             But to No Avail!

                      -------------------------------

          Aggie never knew that her father had remarried - this
          time to Svea's younger sister, who had no heart for
          God. And now he had five children besides Aggie - four
          sons and a daughter (just as Aggie had imagined). By
          this time, David Flood had become a total alcoholic,
          and his eyesight was failing badly.

          For forty years Aggie tried to locate her father - but
          her letters were never answered. Finally, the Bible
          school gave her and her husband round-trip tickets to
          Sweden. This would give her the chance to find her
          father personally.

          After crossing the Atlantic, the couple spent a day's
          layover in London. They decided to take a walk, so they
          strolled by the Royal Albert Hall. To their joy, a
          Pentecostal Assemblies of God missions convention was
          being held. They went inside, where they heard a black
          preacher testifying of the great works God was doing in
          Zaire - the Belgian Congo!

          Aggie's heart leaped. After the meeting, she approached
          the preacher and asked, "Did you ever know the
          missionaries David and Svea Flood?" He answered, "Yes.
          Svea Flood led me to the Lord when I was just a boy.
          They had a baby girl, but I don't know what happened to
          her." Aggie exclaimed, "I'm the girl! I'm Aggie -
          Aina!"

          When the preacher heard this, he clasped Aggie's hands,
          hugged her and wept with joy. Aggie could hardly
          believe that this man was the little boy convert her
          mother had ministered to. He had grown up to be a
          missionary evangelist to his own country - which now
          included 110,000 Christians, 32 mission stations,
          several Bible schools and a 120-bed hospital.

          The next day Aggie and Dewey left for Stockholm - and
          word had already spread there that they were coming. By
          this time Aggie knew she had four brothers and a
          sister. And to her surprise, three of her brothers
          greeted her at the hotel. She asked them, "Where's
          David, my older brother?" They merely pointed across
          the lobby to a lone figure sittig in a chair. Her
          brother, David Jr., was a shriveled-up, gray-haired
          man. Like his father, he'd grown embittered and had
          nearly destroyed his life with alcohol.

          When Aggie asked about her father, her brothers flushed
          with anger. They all hated him. None of them had talked
          to him in years.

          Then Aggie asked, "What about my sister?" They gave her
          a telephone number, and Aggie called it immediately.
          Her sister answered - but when Aggie told her who she
          was, the line suddenly went dead. Aggie tried calling
          back but got no answer.

          In a little while, however, her sister arrived at the
          hotel and threw her arms around Aggie. She told her,
          "All my life I've dreamed about you. I used to spread
          out a map of the world, put a toy car on it, and
          pretend to drive everywhere to find you."

          Aggie's sister also despised her father, David Flood.
          But she promised to help Aggie find him. So they drove
          to an impoverished area of Stockholm, where they
          entered a rundown building. When they knocked on the
          door, a woman let them in.

          Inside, liquor bottles lay everywhere. And lying on a
          cot in the corner was her father - the one-time
          missionary, David Flood. He was now seventy-three years
          old and suffering from diabetes. He'd also had a
          stroke, and cataracts covered both of his eyes.

          Aggie fell to his side, crying, "Dad, I'm your little
          girl - the one you left in Africa." The old man turned
          and looked at her. Tears formed in his eyes. He
          answered, "I never meant to give you away. I just
          couldn't handle you both." Aggie answered, "That's
          okay, Daddy. God took care of me."

          Suddenly, her father's face darkened. "God didn't take
          care of you!" he raged. "He ruined our whole family! He
          led us to Africa and then betrayed us. Nothing ever
          came of our time there. It was a waste of our lives!"

          Aggie then told him about the black preacher she'd just
          met in London - and how the country had been
          evangelized through him. "It's all true, Daddy," she
          said. "Everybody knows about that little boy convert.
          The story has been in all the newspapers."

          Suddenly the Holy Spirit fell on David Flood - and he
          broke. Tears of sorrow and repentance flowed down his
          face - and God restored him.

          Shortly after their meeting, David Flood died. And
          although he was restored to the Lord, he left only ruin
          behind. Besides Aggie, his legacy was five children -
          all unsaved and tragically embittered.

          Aggie wrote down the whole story. Yet as she worked on
          it, she developed cancer. Just after she finished
          writing it, she went to be with the Lord.

                      -------------------------------

                   This Message Is for All Who Believe -
                        Like David Flood - They Have
                       a Right to Be Angry With God!

                      -------------------------------

          David Flood represents many Christians today. They've
          been disappointed, cast down - and now they're full of
          rage toward God!

          The Bible gives us an example of this, in the book of
          Jonah. Like David Flood, Jonah received a missionary
          call from God. And he went to Nineveh to preach the
          message of judgment God gave him: The city would be
          destroyed in forty days.

          After delivering the message, Jonah sat on a hillside,
          waiting for God to begin the destruction. But when
          forty days passed, nothing happened. Why? Nineveh
          repented - and God changed his mind about destroying
          them!

          This angered Jonah. He cried out, "Lord, you've
          betrayed me! You put a burden on my heart to come here
          and preach judgment. Everyone in Israel knew about it.
          But now you've changed everything without telling me. I
          look like a false prophet!"

          Jonah sat under the hot sun pouting - peeved at God!
          Yet, in his mercy, God caused a plant to spring up to
          shelter Jonah from the heat: "...that it might be a
          shadow over his head, to deliver him from his
          grief...." (Jonah 4:6).

          Now, the word "grief" here means "displeasure,
          disappointment." Simply put, Jonah was grieved because
          things hadn't gone as planned. God had changed his
          course - and Jonah's pride was wounded!

          This is where most rage against God begins - with a
          disappointment. God may call us, burden us and send us
          - but he may make changes without including us in his
          sovereign plan. Then, when things don't go as we'd
          planned, we may feel misled or betrayed.

          At this point, God understands our cries of pain and
          confusion. After all, our cry is a human one. And it is
          no different from Jesus' cry on the cross: "Father, why
          have you forsaken me?"

          But if we continue nursing a peeved spirit, it will
          grow into a rage within us. And God will ask us the
          same question he asked Jonah: "Doest thou well to be
          angry...?" (verse 9). In other words: "Do you think you
          have a right to be so angry?"

          Jonah answered, "I have every right to be angry, to the
          day I die!" "...And he said, I do well to be angry,
          even unto death" (same verse). Here was a prophet who
          was so vexed, so irritated, so full of rage at God, he
          said: "I don't care whether I live or die! My ministry
          is a failure. And all my suffering has been in vain. I
          spent three days and nights in the stinking belly of
          that whale - for what? God has changed everything on
          me. I have every right to be angry with him!"

          Many Christians are like Jonah - they feel they have a
          right to be mad at God. They think, "I pray, I read my
          Bible, I obey God's word. So, why has all this trouble
          fallen on my life? Why don't I see the blessings God
          promised me? He has failed me!"

          The Worst Danger of Harboring Anger and Irritation at
          God Is That You Might Spin Out Beyond the Point of
          Consolation!

          It is possible to reach a point where you're no longer
          able to be touched. This is a point where nothing and
          no one can console you!

          Jeremiah writes: "...A voice was heard in Ramah,
          lamentation, and bitter weeping: Rachel weeping for her
          children refused to be comforted for her children,
          because they were not" (Jeremiah 31:15).

          At the time Jeremiah wrote this, Israel was being led
          away into captivity by the Assyrians. Their homes had
          been burned and destroyed and all their vineyards laid
          to waste. Jerusalem was reduced to a pile of rubble.
          All around them they saw nothing but ruin and
          desolation. So Jeremiah used Rachel - Israel's ancestor
          - as a weeping figure who's so distraught at seeing her
          children taken from her that nothing could comfort her.

          In essence, Jeremiah was saying that these mourning
          Israelites had settled into their grief - and they were
          beyond all consolation! Jeremiah couldn't comfort them;
          there was no use even trying to talk to them. In their
          minds, God had allowed captivity to overtke them - and
          they had a right to be bitter toward him!

          Yet here is the danger: When we harbor our questions
          and complaints for too long, they turn into irritation.
          Then our irritation turns into bitterness. And,
          finally, our bitterness turns into rage. At that point,
          we no longer listen to reproof. God's word does not
          affect us. And no one - no friend, pastor or spouse -
          can reach us. We shut out all wooings of the Spirit!

                      -------------------------------

                 For Those Who Admit They Are Near or Even
                  Past the Point of Refusing Consolation,
                            There Is Good News!

                      -------------------------------

          God's word says there is hope! "Thus saith the Lord;
          Refrain thy voice from weeping, and thine eyes from
          tears: for thy work shall be rewarded, saith the Lord;
          and they shall come again from the land of the enemy"
          (Jeremiah 31:16). In other words: "Stop crying - stop
          complaining. I'm going to reward you for your
          faithfulness!"

          "Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast,
          unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord,
          forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in
          the Lord" (1 Corinthians 15:58). Beloved, your cries
          and prayers have not been in vain! All your pain and
          tears have been for a purpose.

          God is telling you, "You think it's all over. You see
          only your circumstances - failure, ruin, no results. So
          you say, 'This is the end.' But I say it is the
          beginning! I see the reward that I'm about to pour out
          on you. I have good things in mind for you - wonderful
          things. So, stop your crying!"

          Dear saint, allow God's Spirit to heal you of all
          bitterness, anger, rage - before it destroys you! You
          may see only ruin in your life - but he sees
          restoration! Let him restore you now from the
          desolation surrounding you. He has only good things in
          mind for you - because "...he is a rewarder of them
          that diligently seek him" (Hebrews 11:6). Hallelujah!

          ---
          Used with permission granted by World Challenge, P. O.
          Box 260, Lindale, TX 75771 USA.

          This material is solely for personal use and is not to
          be posted publicly on other web pages. The Lorain
          County Free-Net Chapel holds exclusive rights from
          World Challenge, Inc. to publicly post these messages
          on its web page. You are free to download, copy, print
          and distribute this material, so long as you do not
          post it on a different Internet site. You may, however,
          link this site to reference these messages.

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