                    [Times Square Church Pulpit Series]

                   When You Come to The End of Yourself!

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By David Wilkerson
December 28, 1998
__________

          As we read the words of David in Psalm 38, we find this
          godly, righteous man at the end of himself. He was
          downcast and discouraged, and his struggle had drained
          him of all strength. Listen to his distraught cry:

          I am troubled; I am bowed down greatly; I go mourning
          all the day longI am feeble and sore broken: I have
          roared by reason of the disquietness of my heartMy
          heart panteth, my strength faileth me: as for the light
          of mine eyes, it also is gone from meI, as a deaf man,
          heard not; and I was as a dumb man that openeth not his
          mouth. Thus I was as a man that heareth not, and in
          whose mouth are no reproofs (Psalm 38:6, 8, 10,
          13-14).

          As I read this psalm, I imagine David slumped in
          despair. Perhaps what troubled him most was that he
          couldnt understand why he was suddenly cast down so
          low. This man hungered for the Lord, pouring out his
          heart daily in prayer. He revered Gods word, writing
          psalms that extolled his glory. But now, in his
          depressed state, all he could do was cry, Lord, Im at
          the end of my rope. And I have no idea why its
          happening!

          Like many discouraged Christians today, David tried to
          figure out why he felt so empty and broken in spirit.
          He probably relived every failure, sin and foolish deed
          in his life. At some point he must have thought, Oh,
          Lord, have all my reckless acts left me so wounded that
          Im beyond hope?

          Finally, David reasoned that God must have been
          chastening him. He cried, O Lord, rebuke me not in thy
          wrath: neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure. For
          thine arrows stick fast in me, and thy hand presseth me
          sore. There is no soundness in my flesh because of
          thine anger; neither is there any rest in my bones
          because of my sin. For mine iniquities are gone over my
          head: as an heavy burden they are too heavy for me
          (verses 1-4).

          Let me point out here that David isnt just writing
          about his own condition in this psalm. Hes describing
          something that all devoted lovers of Jesus face at some
          point in their lifetime. Hes talking about being under
          a demonic attack from a plaguing spirit of
          discouragement!

          This kind of discouraging spirit comes straight from
          the bowels of hell. And the time comes when every
          dedicated believer is overwhelmed by this sudden and
          unexpected experience. No Christian brings it on
          himself, nor does the Lord send it. Such an attack
          usually has nothing to do with any specific sin or
          failing by the believer.

          Very simply, the spirit of discouragement is Satans
          most potent weapon against Gods elect. Most often, he
          uses it to try to convince us weve brought Gods wrath
          upon ourselves by not measuring up to his holy
          standards. But the apostle Paul urges us not fall prey
          to the devils snare: Lest Satan should get an
          advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his
          devices (2 Corinthians 2:11).

          Paul is saying, You have to see your discouragement
          for what it really is! Its a demonic weapon  an arrow
          that Satan shoots at you from his quiver to get you to
          doubt yourself. He knows he cant tempt you to turn
          away from Jesus. So he swamps you with vicious lies to
          make you think youll never be good enough to serve
          Christ. He wants to get you so downcast that youll
          want to throw in the towel!

                      -------------------------------

                     Ask Yourself If Davids Heart-Cry
                              Is Your Own Cry
                        Whenever Youre Overwhelmed
                     by the Spirit of Discouragement.

                      -------------------------------

          Feebleness, soreness, brokenness, troubles,
          disquietness, mourning  all of these things bowed
          Davids spirit low. He felt dry and empty, without
          direction, as if hed learned nothing over the years.
          as for the light of mine eyes, it also is gone from
          me (Psalm 38:10). David is saying, Ive lost my
          spiritual understanding. My vision and revelation of
          the Lord have left me. I cant reach God as I used to!

          I know just how David felt. Ive led evangelistic
          crusades in which thousands at a time have come to
          Christ. And Ive helped lead multitudes of drug addicts
          and alcoholics to deliverance in Jesus. My life has
          been full of such rich blessings. But often, within
          days of these events, I became overwhelmed with
          discouragement. I ended up thinking, Lord, my life has
          been a complete waste. I havent accomplished anything
          for you!

          Thats the work of Satans spirit of discouragement. It
          makes us a target for the powers of hell within moments
          of our greatest spiritual victory!

          This heavy, demonic spirit laid David so low, he was
          dumbfounded in Gods presence. He said, But I, as a
          deaf man, heard not; and I was as a dumb man that
          openeth not his mouth. Thus I was as a man that heareth
          not, and in whose mouth are no reproofs (verses
          13-14).

          The Hebrew meaning of this last phrase is a man who
          has no more answers or arguments left. David was
          saying, Lord, Im too down and discouraged to even
          lift my hand up to you. I cant pray, because Im too
          confused to speak. Im drained and empty. I have
          nothing to say.

          Davids trial was not at all unique. Ive read many
          biographies of devout men and women whom the Lord used
          mightily, and every one of these people struggled
          through the same kind of crippling discouragement.

          The great British preacher C.H. Spurgeon led multitudes
          to Christ through his powerful sermons. But he suffered
          awful bouts with melancholy. He often felt as if hed
          accomplished nothing in his life. He once lamented,
          Ive got the blackest heart in Britain. Frequently he
          would go into his garden, raise his hands to God and
          cry, Lord, Ive never desired you more, yet my spirit
          has never been so low. Why is this happening?

          David voiced the universal cry of the righteous soul
          that endures an attack of discouragement: I am ready
          to halt, and my sorrow is continually before me (verse
          17). The word halt here in Hebrew means fall. David
          was telling God, Im not going to make it, Lord. Im
          at my absolute end  and Im about to fall!

                      -------------------------------

                     God Will Always Be Tender With Us
                        in Our Helpless Condition 
                     But We Are Never to Allow Unbelief
                         to Settle in Our Hearts!

                      -------------------------------

          We can talk to God all we want about our feelings of
          failure. We can tell him about our despair over our
          sins and foolish mistakes. But we are never to
          entertain the thought that he has abandoned us. This is
          a serious accusation, and our Lord doesnt take it
          lightly. We see his immediate response to this kind of
          accusation in Numbers:

          (Israel) journeyed from mount Hor by the way of the
          Red Seaand the soul of the people was much discouraged
          because of the way. And the people spake against God,
          and against Moses, Wherefore have ye brought us up out
          of Egypt to die in the wilderness? For there is no
          bread, neither is there any water; and our soul
          loatheth this light bread; and the Lord sent fiery
          serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and
          much people of Israel died (Numbers 21:4-6).

          When the Bible tells me my loving heavenly father sent
          fiery serpents upon his own people, and that they died
          from the snake bites, I cant ignore the very clear
          message: God will not allow such unbelief among his
          elect! After all that our precious Lord has done for
          us, the most hurtful accusation we can make against him
          is that he has neglected us. We are to beware of such
          unbelief, especially in our difficult times.

          David is our example of someone who kept his faith.
          Even at his lowest point, David wouldnt allow himself
          to wallow in unbelief. He cried, For in thee, O Lord,
          do I hope: thou wilt hear, O Lord my God (Psalm
          38:15).

          If youre enduring an attack from a demonic spirit of
          discouragement, I suggest you do these three things:

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                         1. Do Not Try to Maneuver
                            Your Way Out of It.

                      -------------------------------

          Dont try to escape the attack through your own wits.
          Youre no match for the demonic spirit youre up
          against. The battle is far beyond your human skill or
          physical power to wage. Nor can you merely talk it out
          with friends, or try to overcome it through books,
          seminars or counselors. The conflict is in the
          spiritual realm, and it has to be fought in the spirit.

          In his time of discouragement, David couldnt figure
          out why he was so cast down. He asked, Why art thou
          cast down, O my soul? And why art thou disquieted in
          me? (Psalm 42:5). Yet his questions werent doubts
          about God. David actually begins the psalm by
          expressing his deep thirst for the Lord: As the hart
          [deer] panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my
          soul after thee, O God. My soul thirsteth for God, for
          the living God: when shall I come and appear before
          God? (verses 1-2).

          In the midst of his discouragement, David cried out for
          a revelation of the Lord. He was saying, God, theres
          never been a time when Ive loved you more. I thirst
          for you like the running deer who pants for water. So
          why am I so cast down? Why am I suffering such
          overwhelming discouragement?

          Of course, at times David experienced despair and
          depression because of his sin. He endured the Lords
          chastening for his pride when he numbered his fighting
          men, which was against Gods law. And he felt the pain
          of Gods rod when he committed adultery with Bathsheba
          and arranged to have her husband murdered. His heart
          broke with dejection over the judgment he brought on
          his family because of these sins.

          So, too, many believers today are discouraged because
          of their sins. Some are depressed because the Holy
          Spirit has wanted to bring them into victory, but they
          resist. Theyve chosen the way of the flesh, and that
          always leads to pain and discouragement.

          However, Im addressing repentant believers here 
          those who seek God with all their hearts. These
          faithful servants are gripped by a different kind of
          discouragement. This kind comes upon them suddenly, out
          of nowhere, for no apparent reason. And it totally
          dumbfounds them.

          If this is true of you, you can be absolutely sure you
          are under attack. Satan has sent a cloud of
          discouragement to overwhelm you. And he has his reasons
          for doing so!

          You see, discouragement is the devils most devastating
          tool in his attacks on Spirit-hungry saints. It has
          been the enemys weapon of choice for centuries against
          Gods elect. And from the day you became serious about
          the things of God  determining in your heart to know
          Christ in his fullness  Satan has sought to discourage
          you. He has watched you dig deeper into Gods word
          every day. He has seen you changing, growing,
          overcoming all worldliness. So he has made you a target
          for heavy attack. And youd better believe that attack
          will come!

          Right now you may be able to praise God loudly in
          church, saying, This is the greatest day of joy Ive
          ever had! But watch out for what comes tomorrow. Satan
          will use his most powerful weapon  discouragement  to
          try to bring you down.

          However, when the attack comes, dont think its
          unusual. God allows this kind of fiery testing with all
          his saints. Peter writes, Beloved, think it not
          strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you,
          as though some strange thing happened unto you (1
          Peter 4:12). Discouragement is a trial Gods people
          have endured for centuries!

                      -------------------------------

                              2. Go to Prayer,
                           Giving the Holy Spirit
                           Time to Do His Work!

                      -------------------------------

          When youre under attack from the enemys spirit of
          discouragement, you won t feel like praying. But you
          must still go to the secret place and be in Jesus
          presence. You dont need to worry about trying to pray
          your way out of despair. This is the time for Gods
          Spirit to go to work in you. Its his job to lift you
          out of the pit.

          When you go to the Lord, be honest with him. Tell him
          how weak and helpless you feel. Let him know, Jesus,
          Im dry. I have no strength left. If Im ever going to
          get out of this depression, youre going to have to
          make it happen.

          In such low times, the Lord is very patient with us. He
          doesnt expect us to exert some intense, fervent effort
          in prayer. He knows our condition, and he sympathizes
          with us. So, just sit in his presence and trust his
          Spirit to do in you what he has been sent to do. It
          doesnt matter how cast down you are  he will never
          forsake you!

          We have the notion that every time we fail the Lord,
          the Holy Ghost flits away like a bird. Some Puritan
          divines taught this. They believed that Gods Spirit
          leaves Christians for a season whenever hes grieved
          with them.

          I could never understand or accept this doctrine. How
          could Gods Spirit abandon me when I need him most? If
          he leaves me whenever I fail and fall deep into
          discouragement, how could he be my comforter? That
          wouldnt provide any comfort at all. In fact, it would
          leave me in Satans power!

          Likewise, if the Holy Ghost is my souls sanctifier,
          how could he do this work if he flies in and out of my
          life every time I fail? How could I ever see my sin
          without the Spirits presence there to convict me of
          it? How could I know how to change if he wasnt there
          to guide and direct me?

          Jesus promised us, I will pray the Father, and he
          shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide
          with you for everI will not leave you comfortless: I
          will come to you (John 14:16, 18).

          When the devils heavy spirit of discouragement settles
          over your life, you may be so distraught you cant even
          whisper a prayer. But even if you cant utter a word,
          you can talk to Jesus in your spirit. Just tell him
          softly, Lord, help me. This attack is too much for me.
          I cant do anything but sit here in faith. Im trusting
          your Spirit to drive it out of me.

                      -------------------------------

                         The First Thing the Spirit
                          Will Do When He Comes Is
                        Expose All of Satans Lies!

                      -------------------------------

          The Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the
          Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all
          things, and bring all things to your remembrance,
          whatsoever I have said unto you (John 14:26).

          I remember experiencing a particularly heavy attack of
          discouragement at a certain point in my life. It
          happened when I was as close to Jesus as at any other
          time. I was diligent about my prayer life, pouring my
          heart out daily to the Lord. And I spent hours
          searching his word, devouring both Testaments. I
          enjoyed sweet communion with the Lord and saw many of
          my prayers answered. As far as I knew, I was in Gods
          perfect will, doing everything he told me.

          But one morning, as I was preparing a message for the
          following weeks sermon, something hit me. I was
          overcome by an intense despair. It came out of nowhere,
          weighing me down heavily. And it happened for no
          apparent reason.

          No matter how hard I tried, I couldnt shake it. As I
          sat at my desk with my Bible open, I tried to continue
          working on the sermon. But I couldnt get anywhere.
          Suddenly I was bombarded with doubts about my ability
          to put together a true message from the Lord. My mind
          was flooded with horrible thoughts that told me, You
          dont understand Pauls writings. You havent grasped
          the old man and new man concepts. You dont
          comprehend dying to sin when sin still exists. How
          dare you presume to preach Gods holy word?

          I sat there for three hours, determined to dig out a
          message. But nothing ever came. By mid-morning, all the
          words on the pages of my Bible seemed to run together.
          My mind was confused, and my spirit was dull, unable to
          hear anything from the Lord.

          I sank deeper into despair, thinking, Im totally
          ignorant of Gods word. Yet I keep churning out sermon
          after sermon, week after week. Im not really serving
          anybody. After all these years, I still dont
          understand the Bible. My light has gone out!

          I was convinced I had nothing to give the people in our
          church. So I closed the Bible and left my study.

          As I walked around the house, my discouragement only
          grew. I tried to figure out why it had come upon me in
          the first place, but I didnt have a clue. I didnt
          have any financial troubles. I had no family crisis. I
          felt great physically. And I had no known sin. I didnt
          have a single reason to feel the way I did.

          Finally, I went into my prayer room and sat on the
          floor. I couldnt even muster up a word to say to the
          Lord. Instead, I cried out to him from my spirit:
          Lord, I dont know what to do. I feel so down I cant
          even reach out to you. Yet I know Ive never loved you
          more than right now. Why is this happening? Please, God
           help me.

          When the devil comes with his spirit of discouragement,
          he bombards you with one lie after another. He lies to
          you about your marriage, your family, your friendships,
          your calling, your walk with the Lord. Then he begins
          to replay in your mind every sin, failure and foolish
          thing youve ever done. By the time hes finished,
          youre crying, Oh, God  Ill never make it!

          This is just what the devil did to me. While in prayer,
          I endured his bombardment of hellish lies for about
          half an hour. Thats when Gods still, small voice
          broke through to my spirit. He spoke to me words full
          of love and compassion: David, youre greatly loved.
          Dont worry  my hand is upon you. Youre under severe
          attack, but you dont have to fear. You dont need any
          strength of your own for this battle. I have everything
          you need.

          The first thing the Holy Spirit does in such times is
          to bring to your remembrance all the precious promises
          of Jesus. And so he did with me. He flooded my soul
          with dozens of promises I knew from Gods word. And he
          assured me, Your life isnt over. You dont know it,
          but you havent even started yet. The best is still
          ahead of you.

          My spirit soared within me. As I stood to my feet I
          thought, Why did I ever put up with any of this
          discouragement? Its not from my Lord!

          That is the work of the Holy Spirit. He undoes the lies
          of the enemy and brings encouragement from on high!

                      -------------------------------

                              Dare to Believe
                         the Incredibly Good Things
                   the Holy Spirit Is Going to Tell You!

                      -------------------------------

          Multitudes of Christians enter Gods presence every day
          expecting to be reproved by him. How that must grieve
          our Lord. When we go to prayer, we ought to be prepared
          to hear a good word from our loving father. But many
          believers rarely are. I lived that way for years. Every
          time I entered my prayer closet, I expected to hear a
          rebuke from the Lord. Thank God, he has taught me a
          better way.

          On the other hand, there are entire denominations that
          avoid any mention of holy reproof. They say very little
          about sin because they want to preach only positive,
          upbeat messages. In the process, they ignore all the
          convicting, life-giving reproofs spoken by Christ and
          the New Testament writers. Such churches claim to
          preach a gospel of love, mercy and grace. But, sadly,
          they misuse Gods grace, turning it into a license to
          sin.

          I realize Im not writing this message to that kind of
          people. Rather, Im speaking to overcoming Christians
          who avoid sin as one way of loving the Lord. Im
          speaking to those who enjoy intimacy with Christ
          because they hunger and thirst for him constantly. If
          this describes you, and youre downcast and depressed,
          please know its happening not because youve gotten
          easy on sin. Its happening because youre under attack
          for loving Jesus!

          Be assured  all who wait on the Lord will receive his
          glorious promises:

             * Since the beginning of the world men have not
               heard, nor perceived by the ear, neither hath the
               eye seen, O God, beside thee, what he hath
               prepared for him that waiteth for him (Isaiah
               64:4).

             * As it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear
               heard, neither have entered into the heart of man,
               the things which God hath prepared for them that
               love him. But God hath revealed them unto us by
               his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things,
               yea, the deep things of God (1 Corinthians
               2:9-10).

          Lets take a closer look at two phrases from the
          passage in Corinthians:

          1. the things which God hath prepared for them that
          love him (verse 9). Satan can attack you, flooding you
          with lies and discouraging words. But if youll simply
          wait on the Lord, his Spirit will come to you in the
          midst of the attack and drive out all the devils lies.
          How? Hell give you a revelation of all the good things
          God has prepared for you because you love him!

          Our Lord has a wonderful plan for every single child
          who loves him. And no satanic attack against his
          children can ever alter those plans. God knows the
          sorrows, struggles and pain we may be facing today. But
          he also knows the glorious things he has laid out ahead
          of us. He knows the revelation we ll receive, the
          usefulness well enjoy, the fruit well see, the joy
          and peace well possess. He has a good word for all
          who love him!

          2. God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit
          (verse 10). The Lord desires to show us his good word
          about what he has prepared for us. And his Spirit is
          the messenger who bears that good word. The Holy Ghost
          will give wings to our drooping spirits with Gods
          revelation to us  and well fly like eagles out of
          Satans snare!

          Listen to these wonderful words from Isaiah:

          Hast thou not known? Hast thou not heard, that the
          everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of
          the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? There is no
          searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the
          faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth
          strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and
          the young men shall utterly fall: but they that wait on
          the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount
          up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be
          weary; and they shall walk, and not faint (Isaiah
          40:28-31).

          That is the work of the Holy Spirit  to encourage us.
          Our work is simply to trust him to fulfill what the
          father has sent him to do.

          Go to your secret closet right now, even in your
          discouraged state, and quiet yourself before the Lord.
          Even if you dont have strength enough to speak, you
          can reach out to him in spirit. Speak to him this
          prayer:

          Lord, I know your Spirit abides in me. And I know
          youve sent him to comfort me, strengthen me and reveal
          the mind of Christ to me. So, Holy Ghost, I turn to you
          right now in simple, childlike faith. Speak to my heart
          your words of comfort. I dont have any strength left.
          Youre going to have to lift me up and lead me.

          The Spirit of Christ wont let you be deceived. Hell
          show you the good things God has ahead for you. But you
          must dare to believe he will speak to you!

          Youre not going to faint. Youre going to come out of
          your trial more victorious, because your faith will
          have been tested and tried as gold. And youll see the
          Lord fulfill every promise he has made to you!

          ---
          Used with permission granted by World Challenge, P. O.
          Box 260, Lindale, TX 75771, USA.

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