                    [Times Square Church Pulpit Series]

                   Have You Felt Like Giving Up Lately?

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By David Wilkerson
June 17, 1996
__________

          Is it possible for righteous, godly, Spirit-filled
          Christians to become so low and downcast, they feel
          they can't go on -- and they come to the brink of
          giving up?

          Think about it for a moment. I'm talking now about
          believers who are close to Jesus -- who know His heart
          and mind, have done battle in prayer, have experienced
          His miracles, have seen victory after victory in their
          lives. Such people are dedicated to the Lord's work.
          They present themselves daily as living sacrifices.

          So, tell me: Is it possible for such Christians to be
          so pressed down and troubled, to be in such despair and
          despondency, they become convinced they're not going to
          make it?

          Absolutely -- yes!

                      -------------------------------

                           Consider Holy Job -- a
                            Man Whom God Himself
                       Called "Perfect and Upright"!

                      -------------------------------

          Scripture says of Job, "...that man was perfect and
          upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil"
          (Job 1:1). This man feared God alone. He shunned evil
          and ran from all compromise.

          But now Job faced the crisis of his life: He had lost
          his entire family, all his possessions, everything. And
          his body was covered with boils from head to toe. He
          had come to a place where he could not take any more
          suffering. And he cried out:

          "For the arrows of the Almighty are within me, the
          poison whereof drinketh up my spirit: the terrors of
          God do set themselves in array against me.... Oh that I
          might have my request; and that God would grant me the
          thing that I long for! Even that it would please God to
          destroy me; that he would let loose his hand, and cut
          me off!" (6:4, 8-9).

          Job was saying, "I have only one request -- to die!
          I've had it, God. Cut me off!"

          Do these sound like the words of a totally righteous
          man? Yet Scripture testifies that Job had no known sin
          in his life. He stood as perfect as any man could be
          before God. And yet God allowed him to go through such
          despair that his life became unbearable:

          "...wearisome nights are appointed to me. When I lie
          down, I say, When shall I arise, and the night be gone?
          and I am full of tossings to and fro unto the dawning
          of the day" (7:3-4).

          Finally, in total despair, Job cried out:

          "...my soul chooseth strangling, and death rather than
          my life. I loathe it; I would not live alway: let me
          alone; for my days are vanity.... I am a burden to
          myself" (verses 15-16, 20).

          Job was in anguish because his problems were
          unsolvable! He couldn't reason his way out of them. He
          was completely at wit's end.

          About that time, three of Job's friends came along --
          so- called "comforters" -- and tried to figure out why
          Job was suffering. They couldn't understand why God
          would allow any righteous man to become as mentally,
          spiritually and physically afflicted as Job was.

          Beloved, this is the perennial dilemma in the church --
          and also in the eyes of the world: It seems that when
          you give your life to the Lord, all you get is
          suffering in return! No one, within the church or
          without, has ever understood how a loving God could
          allow those who have given their all for Him to go
          through such times of trouble and despair.

          So, Job's friends kept lecturing him, "God does not
          afflict the righteous. You must be in sin!"

          "If iniquity be in thine hand, put it far away, and let
          not wickedness dwell in thy tabernacles" (11:14).

          I ask you: How would you feel if you heard such words
          from close friends, when you're trying your best to
          understand your suffering? These supposed men of God
          told Job, "You've got some hidden sin in your life. Out
          with it -- confess! Only then will your troubles
          disappear."

          But was God angry with Job? Not at all! Scripture makes
          it clear that wasn't Job's problem. And Job knew this.
          He said to God:

          "Do not condemn me; shew me wherefore thou contendest
          with me.... Thou knowest that I am not wicked... My
          soul is weary of my life..." (10:7, 2, 1).

          Let me list several of Job's other complaints before
          the Lord. As you read them, ask yourself if you've ever
          had similar thoughts:

             * "Hast thou not poured me out as milk, and curdled
               me like cheese?...I am full of confusion..."
               (verses 10-15). In other words: "Lord, You've
               stirred up my life, and I'm going sour. I'm
               totally confused!"

             * "Wherefore hidest thou thy face, and holdest me
               for thine enemy?" (13:24). "God, You've taken my
               children, everything I have. Why have You made
               Yourself my enemy?"

             * "My face is foul with weeping, and on my eyelids
               is the shadow of death" (16:16). "My eyes are red
               from crying. My face is like a dead man's!"

          Have you ever come to such a point in your walk with
          Jesus?

                      -------------------------------

                           Consider Holy Jeremiah
                          -- the Weeping Prophet!

                      -------------------------------

          Jeremiah had the fire of God burning in his bones. This
          holy man walked with God and was fearless before men.
          He had an ear attuned to heaven -- a pipeline to God's
          throne -- and spoke as the Lord's voice to his
          generation. No one could stand against his power and
          authority. He shook his listeners to the core!

          Yet Jeremiah also came to a place of total despair. The
          Lord allowed him to experience a despondency few people
          have ever touched. And Jeremiah came to the brink of
          giving up!

          The prophet was convinced he had fallen under some kind
          of deception. Satan had whispered to him that he was
          being rejected and mocked because he had been deceived
          by God:

          "O Lord, thou hast deceived me, and I was deceived... I
          am in derision daily, every one mocketh me" (Jeremiah
          20:7).

          Consider these words of Jeremiah -- the godly man who
          thundered prophecies to the nations:

          "Cursed be the day wherein I was born... Cursed be the
          man who brought tidings to my father, saying, A man
          child is born unto thee; making him very glad. And let
          that man be as the cities which the Lord overthrew...
          Because he slew me not from the womb; or that my mother
          might have been my grave, and her womb to be always
          great with me. Wherefore came I forth out of the womb
          to see labour and sorrow, that my days should be
          consumed with shame?" (verses 14-18).

          Do these sound like the words of a fearless prophet of
          God? Jeremiah was so overwhelmed by trouble and
          affliction, he wished he had died in his mother's womb!

          His cry echoes Job, who said,

          "Wherefore is light given to him that is in misery, and
          life unto the bitter in soul... Which rejoice
          exceedingly, and are glad, when they can find the
          grave?" (Job 3:20, 22).

          Job was saying, "God, why did You give me all of this
          light, only to turn it off suddenly? All I want is to
          lie down and die -- to get out of this trouble I'm in!"

                      -------------------------------

                             So It Was With the
                           Godly Prophet Elijah!

                      -------------------------------

          Elijah knew the supernatural workings of God firsthand.
          He had brought a dead child back to life. And now, he
          stood before Ahab and prayed the very heavens shut. He
          told Ahab, "I've been on my knees before a holy God.
          And I tell you, it won't rain again until I say so!"

          Talk about power -- Elijah first shut the heavens, and
          then he opened them again! When he prayed later, rain
          fell on the land once more. But that's not all: Elijah
          then outran Ahab's chariot -- and he was in his
          eighties at the time! He poured twelve barrels of water
          over the altar, and called down fire from heaven to
          consume it. What a sight that must have been!

          Elijah's greatest desire was to see revival in Israel.
          For years he had been saddened by the wickedness of
          God's people -- and now he believed his prayers were
          being answered. He thought he was witnessing the start
          of a great reformation in Israel.

          But Jezebel quickly stepped in and squashed the
          revival. Moreover, she threatened to kill Elijah.
          Suddenly, this once- fearless man was running for his
          life! He ended up in a desolate spot in the wilderness,
          where he sat down under a juniper tree,

          "...and he requested for himself that he might die..."
          (1 Kings 19:4).

          Elijah had literally given his life for revival, both
          in prayer and in action. And now he believed he was a
          total failure! He grew depressed, crying,

          "...It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I
          am not better than my fathers" (same verse).

          If you read between the lines in this passage, you can
          hear Elijah saying, "I gave my all, Lord -- I laid down
          my life. I had no personal agenda. I wanted only to
          please You. And now it's all blown up in my face!"

          This poor, dejected prophet shut down completely for
          forty days and nights. That meant forty nights of
          despair -- of sleeplessness, waiting for the dawn,
          trying desperately to figure things out. It must have
          been one long nightmare of defeat, rejection,
          hopelessness.

          During that time, Elijah lost all memory of every
          miracle God had ever done for him. Something simply had
          come over him -- a dejection and despondency that
          brought down his soul. Now, not even the thought of
          past blessings could comfort him.

          You might think, "Surely someone who has seen such
          miracles wouldn't have any doubts or depression. He
          would only have to recall the great wonders God has
          wrought. That would override all his fears." Not so!
          There comes a time when no past miracle or blessing can
          help you in your present trial!

          I have counseled many Christians -- ministers,
          evangelists, soul-winners who have been mightily used
          of God -- who experienced such a pit of despondency.
          These people were once powerful in ministry, preaching
          glorious revelations of God. But suddenly they grew
          weary. Troubles piled upon them. They were slandered
          and rejected. And they ended up feeling they'd spent
          their whole lives in vain. They told me, "There's no
          use going on. I don't feel I've done anything for the
          Lord. I'm a failure!"

          I was appalled that any Christian could be so
          defeatist. I answered them almost indignantly: "Snap
          out of it! Have you forgotten all the miracles God has
          done for you? He hasn't forsaken you. Count your
          blessings!"

          Theogically, I may have been correct. But often that
          theology simply doesn't work. It certainly didn't work
          for Elijah. That holy man ended up hiding in a cave --
          making his home in an utterly dark place of despair!

          Have you ever dropped out for a while, as Elijah did?
          Have you ever gone into hiding -- so hurt, so down, you
          didn't want to see or talk to anyone? Yours may be a
          cave of silence -- a withdrawal from people and
          responsibilities.

          Or, maybe at this point you're still not convinced a
          Christian can experience such despair. You may say,
          "All these examples are from the Old Testament. But we
          live in a day of grace. Surely no Spirit-filled
          believer should live in fear. There shouldn't be any
          depression in God's house!"

                      -------------------------------

                           Is This Merely an Old
                           Testament Experience?

                      -------------------------------

          I ask you: Can New Testament saints who are full of
          God's Spirit go through times of deep despair -- people
          who spend time on their knees, who give their lives in
          service to the Lord, who don't walk in sin but are
          wholly dedicated to Jesus?

          Paul, the apostle, is quick to answer this. He surely
          was a New Testament saint -- a godly, precious man --
          who had given up the whole world that he might win
          Christ. He spent every breath in the cause of the
          Master.

          This man had a revelation of Christ as did no other
          person on earth. Jesus had revealed Himself not just to
          Paul, but in him. And the Spirit took Paul into heaven
          and showed him unspeakable glories. Indeed, Paul was
          given the very mystery of the gospel. His epistles have
          instructed God's people throughout the centuries.

          But the Bible says when Paul went to Asia to preach the
          gospel, he received only trouble:

          "For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our
          trouble which came to us in Asia..." (2 Corinthians
          1:8).

          God had been using Paul mightily throughout Asia, and
          especially in Ephesus. A great revival had fallen on
          the city and lasted for two years:

          "So mightily grew the word of God and prevailed" (Acts
          19:20).

          During that time the Lord had worked great miracles:
          Demons were cast out. The lame and the sick were
          healed. And Paul was at the center of it all! He
          anointed handkerchiefs and aprons, which, when laid
          upon people, brought immediate healing and deliverance:

          "And God wrought special miracles by the hands of Paul:
          So that from his body were brought unto the sick
          handkerchiefs or aprons, and the diseases departed from
          them, and the evil spirits went out of them" (verses
          11-12).

          The miracles were so great and the conviction so
          strong, the Ephesian converts gathered up all their
          occult books and curious arts -- 50,000 pieces of
          silver's worth -- and held a massive bonfire in the
          city square. Yet, this only enraged the satanic forces
          in Ephesus!

          You see, the goddess Diana was worshiped in that city.
          Yet now the citizens were no longer buying idols of
          Diana for worship. This stirred up a group of
          silversmiths, who made their living by selling the
          statues they shaped. The men rose up against Paul --
          riling up the crowds against him!

          Suddenly, in the midst of this great revival, a massive
          riot broke out. The people dragged Paul into a theater,
          and the apostle had to defend himself before a raging
          mob. Eventually, he left Ephesus hearing the taunts and
          mockeries of the wicked.

          Do you get the picture? Paul had given two years of his
          life to this revival. He had seen a mighty move of God.
          But then turmoil came into his life so heavily, he
          said:

          "...we were pressed out of measure, above strength,
          insomuch that we despaired even of life" (2 Corinthians
          1:8).

          In other words: "I thought, 'It's all over -- I'm not
          going to make it. I won't come out of this alive. The
          sentence of death is on me!'"

          I believe I know something of what Paul went through.
          Years ago, I was at a large meeting with sister Kathryn
          Kuhlman in Los Angeles. More than 5,000 people filled
          the place, with standing room only. At the time, my
          wife was going through a bout with cancer. And I was
          carrying the burden of Teen Challenge. I had been
          traveling and writing, and I'd grown weary and tired.
          Of course, that's always when the enemy comes to you --
          when you're physically low, with no strength left.

          I was sitting on the stage, waiting to preach, as
          sister Kuhlman directed the worship. The place was full
          of God's Spirit, and marvelous things were happening.
          Yet, suddenly, the enemy came in and whispered to my
          heart:

          "You are the biggest phony on the face of the earth!
          You're working with troubled people just to make a name
          for yourself. And now your wife is going to die. You
          say you've given your life for the Lord's ministry --
          but it's all vanity! You don't have the fire of God.
          You've lost your anointing. You can't preach tonight,
          because all your words will be fake!"

          The voice was so loud, I couldn't quiet it. I kept
          trying to shake it off, but as I stepped up to the
          pulpit, it was still screaming in my ears. When I
          opened my mouth to preach, hardly anything came out. I
          tried for five minutes to speak -- but I just couldn't.
          Finally, I motioned to sister Kuhlman to take over the
          service, and I turned and walked off the stage.

          Backstage a pastor asked me, "David, what's wrong?
          What's the matter?" I could only shake my head. "I'm
          sorry," I said, "I can't go on. I can't preach tonight.
          I'm a phony!"

          Like Jeremiah, it took me weeks to walk through my
          confusion and anguish of heart. Finally, God brought me
          out of it. But I discovered that such afflictions
          cannot be explained physically. Simply put, the enemy
          came in like a flood, with all the powers of hell
          arrayed against me. In just a few moments, I found
          myself in a pit -- unable to explain it!

          We don't know exactly what Paul spoke of when he said,

          "...our trouble which came to us in Asia..." (same
          verse).

          Some scholars believe he was going through a great
          physical battle -- that he was so sick he was near
          death. Yet I don't believe Paul's troubles were
          physical. I don't think he was talking about
          shipwrecks, stonings or beatings. Rather, I believe
          Paul was speaking of mental anguish -- a deep,
          spiritual warfare that had left him wiped out!

          You may ask, "How could this be? No godly, overcoming
          believer should ever be fearful or embattled by the
          flesh." Yet I, for one, am glad Paul spoke so
          truthfully about his feelings! Otherwise, I might think
          my own experiences with despair are strange, unique --
          not shared by other lovers of Jesus.

          The fact is, many godly men and women throughout
          history have testified that Satan has attacked them in
          this way. He comes bringing lies, discouragement,
          hopelessness. One day a person can be rejoicing, secure
          in his salvation. But the next, an unexplainable
          feeling of worthlessness comes over him. Suddenly, for
          no reason, his peace is gone. He is plagued by
          restlessness. Despondency sets in. He feels
          undeserving, unholy, unacceptable to God.

          This isn't just a physical sickness or a sense of
          rejection. Rather, it is an unexplainable mental
          anguish -- something that can come upon you at any
          time. I don't know what to call it exactly. But women,
          especially, are plagued with it -- and "experts" have
          tagged it with all kinds of names. One day, things just
          begin to pile up in your mind. You can't explain it.
          And nobody can reach you. Suddenly, you don't want to
          talk to anyone. All you want to do is hide.

          Whatever happened to Paul in Asia, it overwhelmed him
          completely. He was brought so low, all his strength was
          gone. He wrote,

          "...we had the sentence of death in ourselves..."
          (verse 9).

          In other words: "I couldn't see any way out. It wasn't
          humanly possible for me to make it through!"

          You may wonder, "How could things get that bad for this
          great man of God? Did Paul really want his life to
          end?"

          The fact is, Paul had taken upon himself the care of
          overseeing all the churches he had pionereed. He loved
          those new believers with all his heart. He grieved over
          their sins and compromises. And he corrected them with
          great anguish.

          This in itself was a tremendous burden for any man or
          woman of God to bear. Indeed, Paul writes:

          "For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I
          wrote unto you with many tears; not that ye should be
          grieved, but that ye might know the love which I have
          more abundantly unto you" (2:4).

          Paul's anguish at constantly having to correct and
          direct his flock afflicted him and made him weak. It
          was like giving birth to a child: It took a great toll
          on his physical body!

          Paul then writes:

          "For, when we were come into Macedonia, our flesh had
          no rest, but we were troubled on every side; without
          were fightings, within were fears" (7:5).

          You may be saying, "Do you mean, Paul, the great
          apostle, had fear? Isn't this the same man who spoke so
          much about having victory over fear? Can this really be
          Paul talking?"

          Yes -- absolutely! You see, that is Satan's design --
          to plant fears in us. He wants us to lose our
          confidence that God answers prayer -- to think that all
          of our interceding, fasting and seeking Him have been
          in vain!

          Notice what Paul adds to the verse he wrote about
          feeling

          "the sentence of death": "...that we should not trust
          in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead" (1:9).

          It was all about faith!

          I strongly believe that God allows His people -- and
          especially ministers of the gospel -- to go through
          many difficult things so that their faith may be built
          from it. Then, when they share or preach, they no
          longer speak from theology -- but from personal
          experience of God's delivering power. That is why Paul
          could say, "I don't want you to be ignorant of how the
          devil tried to overwhelm me in Asia. I want to share
          with you how God brought me out of it -- so that you,
          too, can be healed and delivered!"

          In recent years, Satan has tried to play the same
          "phony" trick on me -- but he cannot succeed! Each time
          I have rebuked him, saying, "You broke the record last
          time, devil. I'll never play that one again. And you'll
          never convince me I'm a phony!"

                      -------------------------------

                         I Believe I Am Speaking to
                          a Number of Godly People
                          Who Love Jesus With All
                         Their Heart -- and Who Are
                        at a Point of Deep Despair!

                      -------------------------------

          Perhaps like Paul, you are being pressed beyond measure
          -- tested beyond your endurance. Your strength is
          nearly gone, and you are on the brink of giving up. You
          see no way out. You want to run, but there is no place
          to go. Now you say with Paul, "This is above my
          strength!"

          So -- how do you get out of it? What is the way to
          victory? All I can tell you is how God continues to
          bring me out. Here are four important truths He has
          given me:

          1. Don't think you are experiencing some strange,
          unique battle. On the contrary -- you are in good
          company! Recall Job, Jeremiah, Elijah, David, Paul --
          even me. What you are going through is common to
          believers throughout the centuries.

          "Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery
          trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing
          happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are
          partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory
          shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding
          joy" (1 Peter 4:12-13).

          2. When you think you can't go on another hour -- when
          everything looks absolutely hopeless -- cry out to God
          with all that is in you, "Lord, help!" Consider the
          counsel of the psalmist:

             * "As for me, I will call upon God; and the Lord
               shall save me. Evening, and morning, and at noon,
               will I pray, and cry aloud: and he shall hear my
               voice. He hath delivered my soul in peace from the
               battle that was against me: for there were many
               with me" (Psalm 55:16-18).

             * "I will love thee, O Lord, my strength. The Lord
               is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my
               God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my
               buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high
               tower. I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to
               be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies.
               The sorrows of death compassed me, and the floods
               of ungodly men made me afraid. The sorrows of hell
               compassed me about: the snares of death prevented
               me. In my distress I called upon the Lord, and
               cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his
               temple, and my cry came before him, even into his
               ears" (18:1-6).

             * "O Lord my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast
               healed me. O Lord, thou hast brought up my soul
               from the grave: thou hast kept me alive, that I
               should not go down to the pit" (30:2- 3).

          Here is a key verse:

          "For he shall deliver the needy when he crieth; the
          poor also, and him that hath no helper" (72:12).

          Jesus has sent the Holy Ghost to be your helper. And He
          will not turn a deaf ear to your cry for help!

          3. Dive into God's Word, lay hold of your special
          promise, take it into the secret prayer closet and hold
          God to it. Here are three of my favorite promises from
          the Bible. I hold these up to God whenever I cry out to
          Him:

             * "Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask
               bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a
               fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then,
               being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your
               children, how much more shall your Father which is
               in heaven give good things to them that ask him?"
               (Matthew 7:9-11).

               Ask the Lord for good things. He is waiting to
               give them to you! Ask Him to set you free, to take
               away all your shame, to remove all the stain of
               sin. He longs to do it for you!

             * "Now unto him that is able to do exceeding
               abundantly above all that we ask or think,
               according to the power that worketh in us, unto
               him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus
               throughout all ages, world without end. Amen"
               (Ephesians 3:20).

          Take this promise to God every day, saying, "Father,
          You said You'd do well above everything I ask. Today
          I'm asking You to overanswer my prayer." God is pleased
          by such faith!

          4. Trust the Holy Ghost, who abides in you. The Father
          has sent His Spirit to reside in your heart. But you
          have to acknowledge the Holy Spirit within you! You've
          got to believe that when you cry out, the Holy Ghost
          abiding in you will answer. God doesn't have to send an
          angel to speak to you; He has already put His resources
          within you -- the Holy Ghost Himself!

          That is the secret, plain and simple: As you face your
          present hour of sufferings and confusion, turn
          everything over to the Holy Ghost. Say to Him, "Holy
          Spirit, You know the way out of this mess. I don't.
          It's completely beyond me. So, I'm resigning, right
          now. And I give up direction of my life to You.

          "I know that what I'm going through is not uncommon to
          believers. And I'm going to call upon the Lord for
          help. I'll hold Him to His great and precious promises.
          And I will trust You to do the rest. You know the very
          mind of God!"

          Dear saint, if you make this simple confession, you
          will know times of refreshing from the Lord. Even when
          you are ready to give up, He remains faithful to
          deliver you.

          Hallelujah!

          ---
          Used with permission granted by World Challenge, P. O.
          Box 260, Lindale, TX 75771, USA.

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