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                           The Heaviness of Sin!
     A Message of Warning and Hope For Christians Battling Hidden Sin

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By David Wilkerson
November 24, 1997
__________

          You know the story of King David - how he committed
          adultery with Bathsheba and secretly arranged for her
          husband's death. Yet, after the prophet Nathan exposed
          David's sin, holding it up before his face, the broken
          king repented of his horrible misdeeds. And he later
          wrote four psalms expressing the distress and terror he
          had felt as a result of his sin.

          David's anguished heart-cries are found in Psalms 6, 32
          and 51 - as well as in the psalm I want to focus on in
          this message, Psalm 38. In each of these psalms, David
          was looking back, recalling the torment he experienced
          during this dark period of his life. In Psalm 38 in
          particular, he describes being smitten by a tender
          conscience: "Thine arrows stick fast in me, and thy
          hand presseth me sore" (Psalm 38:2).

          The hard fact was, David had to live out the shame
          caused by his sin. His terrible fall quickly became
          public knowledge, and the whole nation began talking
          about it. All the people - including David's supposed
          friends - were saying, "How the mighty have fallen!
          David is finished. His power, influence and dignity all
          lie in ruins!"

          Even Israel's enemies gloated over David's fall. Nathan
          pointed out to him, "...thou hast given great occasion
          to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme..." (2 Samuel
          12:14). These words probably hurt David most of all. He
          had brought reproach on his precious Lord's name!

          Many Bible scholars believe it was during this period -
          when David was morally and spiritually weak - that his
          son, Absalom, planned to usurp his reign. David may
          even have heard about the plot. Indeed, I believe he
          had Absalom in mind when he wrote:

          "My lovers and my friends stand aloof from my sore; and
          my kinsmen stand afar off. They also that seek after my
          life lay snares for me: and they that seek my hurt
          speak mischievous things, and imagine deceits all the
          day long" (Psalm 38:11-12).

          Obviously, David knew some kind of deception was going
          on. So, why didn't he speak out about it? Why didn't he
          point out the wicked plans of the plotting evildoers?
          It was because he was heavily burdened by his own
          hidden sin!

          Proverbs tells us, "He that covereth his sins shall not
          prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall
          have mercy" (Proverbs 28:13). The phrase "shall not
          prosper" here doesn't refer to material prosperity;
          rather, it speaks of physical health, emotional state,
          spiritual well-being. God's word is saying that anyone
          who covers his iniquity will be cut off from all
          spiritual prosperity. And David's life proves it!

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              If You Were to Ask David Which Was More Painful
              - Harboring His Secret Sin, or Having It Exposed
             With All Its Shame - I Believe He Would Say Having
                His Sin Exposed Was a Much Lighter Burden!

                      -------------------------------

          For a whole year David carried the terrible burden of
          his adultery and murder. Only his military commander,
          Joab, knew about it. Then Nathan learned of it, through
          a revelation from the Lord. But until his sin was
          exposed, what an awful, terrifying time it was for
          David!

          Part of David's terror might have been because he'd
          never told Bathsheba the truth about how her husband,
          Uriah, had died. He probably could have kept the facts
          from her. But Bathsheba might have suspected David had
          a hand in Uriah's death, anyway - simply because she
          saw her new husband's emotions in turmoil daily.

          How true are Moses' words, "...be sure your sin will
          find you out" (Numbers 32:23). Now, as David writes in
          Psalm 38, his sin has already been brought into the
          open, with nothing hidden. And he begins to recount the
          terrible cost of his foolish choice: "Mine iniquities
          are gone over mine head: as an heavy burden they are
          too heavy for me" (Psalm 38:4).

          By the time Nathan confronted David, this tormented man
          had reached the end of his rope. He had been crushed by
          the burden of his secret sin, and he had no strength to
          go on. He cried, "Look at all that my sin has done to
          my physical body, my family, my country. It's too heavy
          for me to bear. I can't live under this awful burden
          anymore!"

          Beloved, there is no greater burden a believer may bear
          than the heavy load of a hidden, unconfessed sin. Moses
          described sin as providing pleasure for a season (see
          Hebrews 11:25) - yet what a short season it is! It
          could be a single night of forbidden pleasure, a few
          hours of dark indulgence, or just a momentary high. Yet
          afterward, there always comes a crippling heaviness.

          David lived for an entire year under such heaviness. He
          constantly feared God's chastening hand, and living
          under that pressure made him sick. His hidden sin took
          an awful toll on his body, possibly plaguing him with
          ulcers, as some Bible scholars believe.

          Of course, not every sickness is the result of
          unforsaken sin; Job's example proves that. Yet, just as
          surely as partaking in the Lord's supper unworthily can
          lead to sickness and even death, so hidden, unforsaken
          sin can cause serious and sometimes fatal illness.

          So, did God still love David through all this? Yes, he
          did. But was God angry with him because of his sin? Of
          course he was. And did he chasten David during the year
          he covered his iniquity? Yes - absolutely.

          Now let me ask you: Does God love his people today?
          Yes, without question. Yet, does our hidden sin anger
          the Lord? Of course it does. And does God chasten us
          for covering our sin? Yes - undoubtedly!

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                   David Lists Several Terrible Emotional
                    and Physical Consequences of Living
                        With A Deadly, Secret Sin!

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          From David's day down to our own, sin has always
          brought the same frightful outworkings upon God's
          people. Consider this list of emotional and physical
          disorders caused by hidden sin:

          1. "There is no soundness in my flesh..." (Psalm 38:3).
          The Hebrew here suggests, "My mind and body are
          consumed by a fear of God's displeasure with me!"

          David was saying, "I wake up every morning knowing I've
          got sin hidden in my heart. And it's like a cancer in
          my soul. A dark cloud of foreboding is always hanging
          over me." Likewise, if you have a hidden, covered sin,
          your once-joyful spirit will be taken from you. You
          will never wake up with peace!

          2. "...neither is there any rest in my bones because of
          my sin" (same verse). The word "bones" here can be
          translated "body." David was saying: "There's no health
          in my body now. My sin has affected my physical
          well-being!"

          In the three other penitential psalms, David also
          refers to bones:

          "Have mercy upon me, O Lord; for I am weak: O Lord,
          heal me; for my bones are vexed. My soul is also sore
          vexed..." (6:2-3). "When I kept silence, my bones waxed
          old through my roaring all the day long" (32:3). "Make
          me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou
          hast broken may rejoice" (51:8). Simply put, the longer
          David covered his sin, the weaker his body became.

          3. "My loins are filled with a loathsome disease: and
          there is no soundness in my flesh" (Psalm 38:7). The
          word "loins" in Hebrew means "my strength, my
          confidence." And "loathsome disease" here signifies
          "shrinking, drying up." As David lost his strength and
          confidence in the Lord, it diminished his physical
          health as well.

          4. "My wounds stink and are corrupt because of my
          foolishness" (verse 5). David was saying, "When sin got
          dominion over me and I erred foolishly, a moral stench
          wounded me. My iniquity became known to the world - and
          it stunk like a festering wound!"

          David wasn't grieving because his own name was soiled.
          He grieved because his name had always been associated
          with the Lord's - and now he'd brought reproach upon
          God's name. He was saying, "My name once stood for
          something. When people heard it, they honored the Lord.
          But now my sin has made me the song of drunkards!"

          5. "I am troubled; I am bowed down greatly; I go
          mourning all the day long" (verse 6). The Hebrew word
          for "troubled" here means "a heavy, dark-colored
          sadness." David was living under a dark cloud of
          despair. He was saying, "My shoulders literally slump
          from the load of guilt I carry. I go through the day
          with no peace at all!"

          6. "I am feeble and sore broken: I have roared by
          reason of the disquietness of my heart" (verse 8). Talk
          about groanings that can't be uttered; David was
          saying, "I moan and groan because there's a constant
          roar going on in my heart."

          What was this roar in David's soul? It was a groaning
          for a lost peace! Sin had robbed him of his freedom.
          He'd lost all rest in God, as well as all of God's
          favor and blessings.

          7. "...as for the light of mine eyes, it also is gone
          from me" (verse 10). David's sin also cost him his
          spiritual discernment. It is one thing to lose your
          emotional well-being, your physical health, your
          reputation. But worst of all is to lose the light of
          truth - the revelation of Christ!

          With every statement David makes in this psalm, his
          burden of sin grows heavier and heavier. He's looking
          back, describing his soul's heaviness - and he's
          warning us: "You don't have to go the way I chose. I
          became feeble and broken because of my sin. I lost
          God's precious favor!"

          Several years ago, at a repentance conference held by
          our ministry, a well-known evangelist from years past
          attended. Throughout his decades of ministry, this man
          had harbored a secret sin of homosexuality.

          He was about seventy years old at the time. I had never
          met him, until the conference. The man stuck out his
          hand - and when I reached to shake it, it was like
          feeling a dead fish. I looked into his eyes - and he
          seemed like a dead man. He had no life in him
          whatsoever. All his light was gone - because of the
          emotional toll of hidden sin. And light represents
          discernment!

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                You Can Lose Your Reputation Or Your Health
               - But God Help You When You Lose Your Light!

                      -------------------------------

          Because David had lost his spiritual light, he also
          lost his ability to reprove sinners. His tongue was
          silenced because of his own sin: "But I, as a deaf man,
          heard not; and I was as a dumb man that openeth not his
          mouth. Thus I was as a man that heareth not, and in
          whose mouth are no reproofs" (Psalm 38:13,14).

          The apostle Paul commanded Timothy, "...reprove,
          rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine" (2
          Timothy 4:2). Yet, the person who covers his sin hears
          a different word thundering in his soul: "Thou that
          makest thy boast of the law, through breaking the law
          dishonourest thou God? For the name of God is
          blasphemed among the Gentiles through you, as it is
          written" (Romans 2:23-24).

          In other words: "Do you dare to teach others how to
          live, when you have a hidden sin in your own life?
          You're blaspheming God's name!"

          The burden David carried for an entire year cost him
          dearly. It broke his health, plagued his mind and
          wounded his spirit. It created havoc in his home,
          disillusionment in God's people, mockery among the
          godless. Finally, he cried out, "I am ready to halt,
          and my sorrow is continually before me" (Psalm 38:17).
          The Hebrew word for "halt" here means "fall." He was
          saying, "I'm about to fall from this heavy load of
          sorrow!"

          Now, some Christians might look at David in his time of
          turmoil and think, "What a tragedy Satan was able to
          bring upon David. How could this once-tender psalmist
          come to the brink of a fall? God must have been
          terribly angry with him."

          No! It wasn't the devil who made David's sin so heavy -
          it was God! In his great mercy, God allowed this man to
          sink to the depths, because he wanted him to see the
          exceeding sinfulness of his sin. He made David's
          unconfessed sin so heavy, he could no longer bear it -
          and he was driven to repentance!

          The truth is, only a righteous man like David could be
          so powerfully affected by his sin. You see, his
          conscience was still tender - and he felt the sharp
          pains of every arrow of conviction God thrust into his
          heart. That's why David could say, "...my sorrow is
          continually before me" (same verse).

          And that is the secret of this whole story: David had a
          godly sorrow! He kept a deep and precious fear of God.
          He could admit, "I see the Lord's disciplining hand in
          this, pressing me down to my knees. And I acknowledge
          that my sin deserves his wrath. All these awful
          outworkings of my hidden sin have been brought on by my
          heavenly father!"

          The writer of Lamentations says, "I am the man that
          hath seen affliction by the rod of his wrath. He hath
          led me, and brought me into darkness, but not into
          light.... he hath broken my bones. He hath builded
          against me... He hath set me in dark places, as they
          that be dead of old. He hath hedged me about, that I
          cannot get out: he hath made my chain heavy.... He hath
          inclosed my ways with hewn stone..." (Lamentations
          3:1-9).

          The writer's point is clear: When we live with hidden
          sin, God himself makes our chains so heavy, chaotic and
          terrifying, we are driven to open confession and deep
          repentance.

          Consider David's example: He committed adultery. He
          arranged for a faithful soldier to be murdered so he
          could lay claim to his young wife (and David already
          had five wives of his own). He hid his horrible
          darkness for a whole year and came to the brink of
          total ruin. He brought shame on Israel and on his
          heavenly father's name.

          Yet, even after all this God called David "a man after
          his own heart." How could this be? The secret is
          revealed in this verse: "I will declare mine iniquity;
          I will be sorry for my sin" (Psalm 38:18). Just before
          David was about to fall, he humbled himself and
          repented! He cried, "Lord, I've had enough! I can't
          carry this load anymore. It's too heavy for me. I
          repent - I freely confess my sin. Please, God, don't
          forsake me!"

          "Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this
          evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when
          thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.... I
          acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever
          before me.... Create in me a clean heart, O God... take
          not thy holy spirit from me" (51:4, 3,10,11).

          The Lord opened up every hidden place in David's life -
          to bring him to a full and complete repentance!

                      -------------------------------

                      This Message Goes Beyond David's
                   Experiences of the High Cost of Sin!

                      -------------------------------

          I want to speak now to the Christian who is in much
          greater danger than David ever was even in his lowest
          condition. This is the believer who cannot relate
          whatsoever to Psalm 38. He knows nothing of grief over
          iniquity, the heaviness of sin, the smiting arrows of
          conscience - because his heart is crusted with
          hardness!

          This Christian has no true fear of the Lord. He can sin
          without remorse. Nothing can pierce the walls of his
          armored heart. He takes his sin lightly, calling it
          "just one little problem in my life." Such a Christian
          is in danger of being given over to a hard heart -
          totally deceived by his sin!

          Not long ago, a very honest Christian woman wrote to
          our ministry:

          "I'm scared! I have served the Lord for a number of
          years, but in recent years I've drifted, becoming cold
          toward God. I have no burden for lost souls, no urgency
          to pray or read the Bible. A spiritual darkness is
          overtaking me. Yet what scares me most is that I'm not
          concerned about what's happening to me. I'm scared that
          I'm not scared!"

          How many thousands of Christians no longer grieve over
          their sin? Multitudes today excuse their besetting
          habits, thinking, "It's just a simple, human weakness.
          I can afford this one vice."

          No - never! The prophet Ezekiel gives us a vivid
          illustration of what happens to a people who take their
          sin lightly. In this account, the seventy elders of
          Judah came to Ezekiel to receive a word from the Lord.
          These men were all in the service of the temple, and as
          they gathered with the prophet to worship, Ezekiel was
          given an amazing vision:

          "...as I sat in mine house, and the elders of Judah sat
          before me... the hand of the Lord God fell there upon
          me. Then I beheld, and lo a likeness as the appearance
          of fire: from the appearance of his loins even
          downward, fire... as the appearance of brightness, as
          the colour of amber.

          "And he put forth the form of an hand, and took me by a
          lock of mine head; and the spirit lifted me up between
          the earth and the heaven, and brought me in the visions
          of God to Jerusalem..." (Ezekiel 8:1-3).

          The Holy Spirit fell on this gathering, and God's holy
          fire filled the place with light: "And, behold, the
          glory of the God of Israel was there..." (verse 4).

          Now, we know that whenever God's fiery presence appears
          in a meeting, sin is always exposed. Indeed, notice how
          Ezekiel was impacted by the Lord's glory: In this
          vision, God raised him high above the temple,
          suspending him above everything. And he opened
          Ezekiel's eyes to the secrets of the seventy elders'
          hearts.

          Suddenly, the prophet saw that these men's minds were
          filled with "...every form of creeping things, and
          abominable beasts..." (verse 10). He's describing
          demonic strongholds, evil beings. And they had
          infiltrated God's house through the ministry!

          Yet there sat the seventy elders, calm and placid. They
          appeared as worshipers seeking guidance from the Lord,
          showing respect for Ezekiel's prophetic office. But in
          truth, they were covering up a secret, hidden sin!

          You see, these men had been going through the outward
          worship procedures of the temple ministry - killing
          lambs, washing their hands and entering the holy place.
          Yet, in reality, they all belonged to a secret society
          of sun worshipers. They employed prostitutes in the
          temple, who wept before Tammuz, the god of fertility.
          And as part of the worship ritual, these supposedly
          godly elders took part in fornication.

          Worst of all, these men were not convicted of their
          horrible idolatry. Now, as God's fiery presence filled
          the room, they merely sat in comfort, unable to hear or
          see a thing - totally unmoved. How could this be, you
          ask? There is only one reason: They saw their iniquity
          as trivial. They excused it as no big deal!

          The Lord asked Ezekiel, "...Is it a light thing to the
          house of Judah that they commit the abominations which
          they commit here?..." (Ezekiel 8:17). God was saying,
          "These men are unmoved because they don't see sin as I
          do - exceedingly sinful. To them, it's just a joke!"

          The seventy elders had convinced themselves God winked
          at their idolatry: "...for they say, The Lord seeth us
          not..." (verse 12). Yet God makes a powerful statement
          about them. He tells Ezekiel, "...lo, they put the
          branch to their nose" (verse 17).

          This verse describes an ancient gesture of contempt.
          The Israelites would pick up a twig, break it off, put
          it under their nose and then twist it. The modern
          equivalent would be for us to thumb our nose at
          someone, as if to say, "Here's to you!"

          God is saying of these men, "You sit in my house, hear
          anointed preaching and experience my manifest presence
          - and yet you cover your sin as if it were a small
          thing. You won't allow my Spirit to convict you. You're
          thumbing your nose at me!"

          These elders weren't like David, who was heavily
          burdened by his sin. They felt no arrows of smiting
          conviction, no loss of physical strength, no emotional
          pain. They had no inner roaring or groaning. Instead,
          they were deceived by what Moses called a "false
          peace":

          "And it come to pass, when he heareth the words of this
          curse, that he bless himself in his heart, saying, I
          shall have peace, though I walk in the imagination of
          mine heart, to add drunkenness to thirst" (Deuteronomy
          29:19).

          In other words: "A deceived person is like a drunkard -
          he has lost all ability to discern. He can't even
          distinguish between thirst and drunkenness!"

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                    I Ask You - How Heavy Is Your Sin?

                      -------------------------------

          Are you troubled and grieved by your besetting sin?
          Does it keep you boiling inside, giving you sleepless
          hours, emotional pain, sorrow, guilt and despair? Do
          you feel you're on the brink of falling under the heavy
          load of it all?

          Does your heart cry out, "Lord, my sins are over my
          head, beyond my comprehension. Yet I know all my
          troubles come from your chastening hand. Oh, God, I
          don't want to be a slave to my wicked habits any
          longer. Please - give me back my freedom!"

          If this is your prayer, then you're on your way to
          healing and deliverance. You see, when David repented
          he was finally able to glimpse the light at the end of
          the tunnel. Listen to his triumphant prayer:

          "I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity
          have I not hid. I said, I will confess my trangressions
          unto the Lord; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my
          sin. Thou art my hiding place; thou shalt preserve me
          from trouble; thou shalt compass me about with songs of
          deliverance" (Psalm 32:5, 7).

          Dear saint, you can get back your shout and your joy.
          Simply confess and forsake your sin - and the Lord will
          pardon and deliver you. Like the prodigal's father,
          he's ready to kiss your neck, clothe you in a robe of
          righteousness and spread before you a great feast. Then
          you'll be able to testify with David:

          "Many sorrows shall be to the wicked: but he that
          trusteth in the Lord, mercy shall compass him about. Be
          glad in the Lord, and rejoice, ye righteous: and shout
          for joy, all ye that are upright in heart" (Psalm
          32:10-11).

          Hallelujah!

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